


Making Up For Lost Time

by a_mere_trifle



Category: Homestuck
Genre: F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2010-07-15
Updated: 2010-07-15
Packaged: 2017-10-10 13:43:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 953
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/100410
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/a_mere_trifle/pseuds/a_mere_trifle
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Pesterlog fic, future. Sujective time comes back to bite Dave on the ass, yet again.<br/>TT: Happy Birthday, Dave.<br/>TG: yeah whatever<br/>TG: i know you woman<br/>TG: youve got some sort of scheme up your poofy mad scientist sleeves</p>
            </blockquote>





	Making Up For Lost Time

**Author's Note:**

> For the record, this was written before the cloning twist, so, uh, don't be hatin' too hard? XD
> 
> ...Of course, I was unrepentant enough to add this note and fix up the formatting.... &gt;_&gt;

TT: Happy Birthday, Dave.   
TG: yeah whatever  
TG: i know you woman  
TG: youve got some sort of scheme up your poofy mad scientist sleeves  
TG: shit one day im gonna wake up and be all  
TG: honey why are there mechanical sharks with frickin laser beams on their foreheads in the hall  
TG: and youll be all  
TG: just surplus from the labs sweetie theyre perfectly harmless  
TG: and ill be all but why is the mailman hanging by his shorts from the ceiling fan and why is the floor wet  
TG: and youll be all  
TG: oh just a glitch in the assassination protocols  
TG: and one of them tried to take a bath  
TG: nothing to worry about sweetie   
TT: Are you quite finished?   
TG: i just woke up so  
TG: yeah   
TT: I would like to point out that you would never call me "Honey".   
TG: well obviously by then you would have drugged me  
TG: to be a slave to your every whim  
TG: dont pretend youre not working on it   
TT: A shameless waste of resources.  
TT: There's no need to resort to such crude tactics to gain power I already have.  
TT: Or hadn't you noticed?   
TG: i dunno but im not drinking your coffee ever again   
TT: You never did in the first place, you idiot.  
TT: Now if you actually intend to let me get a word in edgewise...   
TG: oh by all means   
TT: You are correct in one particular, I must admit.  
TT: I do have one scheme.   
TG: oh wow youre shitting me   
*TT sent TG the file TimeTable.doc*   
TG: you expect me to believe thats it  
TG: just one file  
TG: thats all the mindfuckery i can expect today   
TT: As a CEO, I have come to appreciate efficiency.  
TT: I only need one file. And you already know that.  
TT: Read it, Strider.   
TG: ok fine  
TG: youd only harass me until i did anyway  
TG: what the fuck is this  
TG: why is a table supposed to impress me   
TT: This is why you're not an accountant.  
TT: This is also why I never let you balance the checkbook.  
TT: Well, that and it's mostly my money anyway.   
TG: wait what the fuck   
TT: Ah, I see we are actually reading now.   
TG: dont give me this we crap  
TG: what the hell is this   
TT: A simple calculation, Strider.  
TT: The math's all there.  
TT: It's all perfectly legitimate; you can check it yourself.   
TG: you are fucking shitting me   
TT: You'll have to face it, Strider.   
TG: i am NOT 22  
TG: i was born 20 years ago  
TG: that makes me 20 god damn it   
TT: The numbers don't lie, sweetie.  
TT: This is what happens when you play with time.   
TG: i have not been fucking around in time for two goddamn years   
TT: And that's just the excursions I know about.   
TG: shit  
TG: you goddamn harpy  
TG: why the fuck would you do this   
TT: Funny, I seem to recall you're the only participant in this conversation who's ever assumed a demi-avian form.   
TG: shit does that even count  
TG: that was alternate me dammit  
TG: and he was badass  
TG: and not a harpy at all   
TT: Oh he so was.  
TT: He was the very definition of a harpy.  
TT: And I also seem to recall an interesting incident just a few weeks ago.  
TT: Something about that webcomic of yours.  
TT: And ridiculous caricatures that skirted the bounds of decency on several fronts.  
TT: And a sacred oath of eternal revenge.  
TT: Ringing any bells, sweetie?   
TG: stop calling me sweetie you vindictive shrew  
TG: shit  
TG: i admit it  
TG: i admit defeat  
TG: in the battle of birthday hell i declare you the unqualified victor  
TG: just  
TG: please tell me these numbers arent real   
TT: I'm sorry, Dave.   
TG: oh god damn it   
TT: We could throw you some extra parties to make up for lost time.  
TT: Oh, I probably shouldn't have phrased it that way.   
TG: not your most diplomatic move no   
TT: But there would be cake.   
TG: pfft  
TG: sure there would  
TG: and i can promise you i would be baked   
TT: At least you're old enough to drink!  
TT: Though I suppose the authorities would be unlikely to give credence to your explanation of why.   
TG: no i dont think they would  
TG: stop gloating   
TT: I'm not.  
TT: I'm honestly trying to find an upside.   
TG: well its not working   
TT: I suppose I'll just have to make it up to you, then.   
TG: oh yeah sure  
TG: with cakes  
TG: with 22 candles  
TG: or those cheapass number candles  
TG: just to spell it all out  
TG: 2 2  
TG: youll have a banner and everything  
TG: itll be just swell   
TT: You've seen how creative I can be whilst tormenting you.  
TT: You don't think I can find immensely inventive ways to do the opposite?   
TG: ok that just sounds wrong no matter how matter how i think of it   
TT: Maybe it was intended to.  
TT: I've got a good four birthdays' worth of presents to make up for, after all.  
TT: This might be quite an undertaking.   
TG: oh hell yeah  
TG: i can get on board with this   
TT: Don't make me change my mind.  
TT: Your best strategy is probably to keep your mouth shut and look sad.  
TT: Anyway, I fear they're expecting me to do actual work now.  
TT: Happy Birthday, Dave.  
TT: I do mean that.   
TG: thanks  
TG: see you tonight   
*TT ceased pestering TG at 09:17*


End file.
